Getting Laid Off

Listening to Bonobo.

Laptop in bed,

Early morning sun on the horizon.

The energy of thoughts flowing through my mind.

Abstract.

I feel nervous excitement race through my mind and body, I feel my foundation shaken. I feel. 

I was recently laid off from my job at Omerica Organic, the nerve. Be it as it may, I find my thoughts fluctuating between a bittersweet sense of loss and opportunity. The fact that one is laid off without notice always feels like getting slapped in the face. Without notice? No warning to prepare for the blow eh. Well, that’s exactly what happened last Monday afternoon. It only took an entire day of hard work (on a Monday too) until the wood shop manager and CEO sat me down for a meeting. Did I do something wrong sir? No, not even, it’s a matter of busy, of economics, of the market, of over spending.

  

“We have been struggling to make pay roll over the last few months, and this last week killed us. It’s not personal or based on performance at all, it’s our fault for putting us in a hole. You’re one of the four that we have to lay off because we can’t afford to have people in those positions. It just doesn’t make sense to fill those duties when someone else can do them instead.”

Oh really. We’ll see about that. I kicked ass at my job, every day, and without a complaint. I even worked so hard at a time that I got tendinitis in my wrist/thumb and had to get minor surgery to repair the damage of repetitive strain! This wasn’t a pre-existing injury or condition, but came with the job. But I’m not bitter… No more repetition now that I am out of the “shop”. No more mechanical, machine-like motions, 6-8 hours per day, 5 days a week (sometimes 6). No more mind numbing, thoughtless days of doing the same thing over and over and over. “Change must come” as said per Mr. Obama. Only in my case, change came as a result of sheer coincidence.

Now I sit here or I should say lay here in my bed without the notion of “going to work”. I could get up early, make some coffee, and start my day like any other day. But today is different. My routine is in chaos. How can one expect to commit to their habits when life throws a curve ball at them? The sense of collective misfortune has hit a grand slam when it comes to the huge blow that many of my fellow Americans have been experiencing the last couple years. I am not alone. In fact, maybe I feel a little bit closer to the American struggle during our current economic state. Regardless, there is still work to be done. Nobody should ever feel as thought there isn’t work to do. For we are all works-in-progress, and now I have to figure out what the next job entitles.

Change has come already, as I think about my newfound freedom. I know that true freedom is damn near impossible to obtain in life, yet with that said, it’s up to me to find a sense of direction to the life I will lead. Nobody can tell me what to do. Absolutely and most positively, I will direct my ship, my body forward into the unknown sea of life. To be honest, I anticipate and even secretly desire the next tidal wave to come and give me something to overcome. But let us not get ahead of ourselves though. The seasons will change and many challenges await me, but I have special powers or artistic weaponry to ward off the army of darkness.  There is no room for doubt in my ship, only conviction. Solid.

So I can attempt to sleep in a bit, you know, “take it easy”. Unfortunately, this isn’t a vacation; once again there is work to be done. I will commit myself wholeheartedly to my dream. Paint brush in hand, creative juices fueling my brain, I step out to create the future I live now. I will paint it bright, with contrasts of darkness. Colors of all sorts. Diversity. Nothing exists in Black and White, but in shades of gray. The undertones of light, layers of texture and forms create energy. Beauty. Content. Why would I sleep when I have the ability to create something new to this world? Why wait when I can add value to the life I live and hopefully others can enjoy it too? Why take the easy route on the map when you can make your own map? 

There’s no time on this earth to do the same things over and over, and for that I am thankful for getting laid off. At the end of this week, I will realize my new mission and by next week will have a game plan. I have been promoted to Visual Artist….